so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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