No stitches, just platelets and will power
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Randomize
