I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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