thus making me awesome and them whores
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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