Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
