so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
