I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
