I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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