he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
