y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
