that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
