Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Nicole vs. Life
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
