David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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