dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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