Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's always time for handjobs
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
