i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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