kristin has been a bad kristin
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
