Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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