Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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