I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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