She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
