i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
