So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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