haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
