i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
