$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
