Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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