he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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