brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize