Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
