That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
