Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize