She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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