So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
