If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
