Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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