yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
handjob tips. give me some.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
