I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
