White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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