It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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