the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
All I want is dick and wine.
i believe in u and ur pee
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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