There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't think brook has ever known best
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
