She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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