Umm I'm too high to move.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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