I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
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