you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
