i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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