drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize