Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
