Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
