I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
