Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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