What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
