I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
