I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
