You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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