Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
