Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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