I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
