Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dude. I can hear the air.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
