Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
