I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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