i think my mom watched the whole time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
