i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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